The Fictional Church of The World Wide Web

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
Well, not really.

I don't actually want forgiveness from anyone's father, and I fully intend on being a sinner for the rest of my foreseeably odd life. But I want to make a confession, and like any American, I've been conditioned by the media that all confessions must be preceded by that timeless phrase.
So.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

I've never actually been to a confessional, so I can't willingly lie and say "it's been a while". I have committed a great number of sins, to be honest. Including, but not limited to sloth, pride, lust, envy and some other stuff I don't intend on broadcasting to the web.
Oh, and I once stole 5 bumper stickers from a surf shop in Florida. But I'm not here for those sins.

I'm here to confess my despondency in life, and my confidence in the fact that I will be going nowhere in this life, save, perhaps, for a grave. I'm here to confess my surrender before I ever even started, and I'm here to admit that I have no faith in myself.
I'd like to imagine that a Father would, as this point, gently enquire as to why I have no faith in myself.
Thank you, fictional Father, for your theoretical consideration.

But you see, I wouldn't have anything to tell him. There's no good reason. Perhaps it's just another fit of my teenage ennui. Perhaps tomorrow I'll wake up to the birds singing and sun shining and I'll say to myself "Golly gee, I'm going to have a great life!". And then, perhaps, I'll go flying off on a rainbow and eat some cotton candy clouds.
Who knows?

But I just feel. . . aimless. Unanchored. Drifting around in a pointless existence. There's a reason why so many search for "the meaning of life". A quote I once heard; "It's not enough just to live. You have to have something to live for."

And in this instance, I need a purpose. I need something to do, something that's good enough, bright enough for me to want to do the necessary. Not just feel forced to. I know it's silly, plotting out my life before I've so much as applied to a college. But I need to do something. Right now, I'm just drifting; flotsam and jetsam in the river of life. I make stupid, pretentious metaphors, literally hide out in dark closets and harbor a ridiculous addiction to caffeine and an internet connection. I have incredibly huge disassociation issues with reality, and tend to see myself as just another character in a story. But no one would want to read my story so far, not how it's going currently.
So I need to make it better.

I need to revise the story of my life and give it a better plot, a better twist and a better hook. Make it something bright and worth reading. Because right now, it's just a pointless existence. Hell, I'm not even depressed. Just neutral. And I'm so fucking sick of being neutral.

I'm not sure how you're supposed to end confessionals. I've never been to one, obviously, and in the movies they always just cut to the next scene. I'd like to think that, in this fictional, theoretical little church of mine, I'd thank the Father for his time and wish him a nice day.
Then I'd walk out and go sit and be quiet and alone and think for a while.

(I wouldn't come to any conclusions)