All Those Bleary Nights will Shine with Light

I'm meeting my father for lunch tomorrow.



Or rather, later today- seeing as to how it's 4AM as I write this. I might be meeting him alone. My sister hasn't decided if she's coming yet.

I'm so tired. But I can't get myself to sleep these days. I grab a Mtn. Dew, retreat to my room and check the clock to find that 11PM has become 2 in the morning.

I used to think staying up all night was fascinating. Exciting.
Now? Not so much.

But I'm too overwhelmed. There's too much to do and so much I'm not doing in time, and I feel like my skin is stretched too tight over my joints. My eyes flutter close of their own accord these days, and the ever-growing mountain of soda bottles is almost depressing.

I'm tired, and in over my head.
I'm tired, and useless, and uncertain in my apathy.
I'm tired, and I'm angry and I want to yell and punch and snarl.
I'm tired, and I just want to go.
I'm tired pathetic apathetic annoyed pessimistic pretentious bored
I'm just
really
tired
and
I
want
to
be
done.

"Sing me to sleep,

Sing me to sleep,

I'm tired and I

I want to go bed.

Sing me to sleep,

Sing me to sleep. . .

and then leave me alone.

Don't try to wake me 

in the morning

'Cause I will be gone."