Hermit's United

Apparently, my mother has been peer-pressured into anxiety regarding my social skills.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

She's worried about me "only seeing the four walls of my room" and has begun to demand that I attend my sister's club meetings. Really? This isn't the first time I've explained to her that I don't spend my days curled into a ball in the corner of my room, talking to myself. I do actually have conversations and socialize on a daily basis. Just because I don't go over to people's houses doesn't mean I've become a hermit.


My sister, as always, has risen to my mother's defense and claimed that she's panicking under the pressure of her fellow mom's and my aunt. I'm calling BS, of course, but I can't help but crumple under my sister's puppy eyes. I doubt that my mother set her up to do so, but damn if my sister isn't a powerful asset. Pity that my mother seems to be willfully denying her existence. My mother's opinion means the world to my sister, but my mother, now unbridled by the constraints of marriage, has begun acting more like a teenage girl than I do.

Not to disparage her freedom or whatever. I get it, she needs to relive the years wasted as a mute waif in an abusive relationship. But her lack of responsibility has been grating on my sister for the past year, and while I'm sure she's trying, she needs to be there for my sister. I get it, my mother's got a lot on her plate, but my sister has started to joke about me being "the favorite", and my mother hasn't been doing much to dismiss the concept. I wish she would spend less time scolding my "social habits" (which are perfectly existent, as you'd know if you listened the 1st, 3rd or 5th time I told you) and more time listening to my sister's concerns and trying to repair their relationship.

My father's presence in our family was like a weed in a crack of concrete. The longer he was left alone, the more cracks appeared in the foundation. Though we've "ripped out the weed", the cracks still remain, and Mom is doing jack shit about it. Mom had been kept silent concerning my sister's abuse in our family, and my sister must resent her for that. But the silence has only made her want my Mother's good opinion so much more. Mom thinks her responsibilities have been magicked away with the disappearance of my father, but my sister is still left loose and drifting, full of cracked-concrete.

I don't know. I'm just kind of pissed about our family dynamic, and wish that my mother would give attention where it's so desperately needed- as opposed to the trouble-less issue of my social skills. I'd hoped that my mother would've been capable of disregarding something so simple as peer pressure and actually, I don't know, give her abused daughter the attention she needs. Sure it's exhausting for her, but for fuck's sake. It's her job. She clearly has the time to do so, if her disparaging of my "socialism" is any indicator.

Whatever.