Anywho, yes, I am alive despite not posting to this blog in a while. Sorry. Bad habits die hard. For the numerous people invested in my life- oh. Wait.
Sorry, that's supposed to be sarcasm. But people are, supposedly, reading this blog now? Why, I've no clue, but their presence is not unacknowledged or unappreciated. Shout out to the lovely ladies Kristen and Miranda for enduring my teenage ennui and far-too-purple prose! Everyone who reads this blog deserves a ton of ice cream for their troubles. Though Ms. Claire may get 2 cartons because I think she puts up with the majority of my teenage idiocy. (Thanks Claire c :)
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| Ben & Jerry's for everyone!! Or whatever your preferred ice cream brand is < 3 |
But update! Things are better here at Casa de Alice. My mother has come to the realization that I'm not socially stunted, my aunt is off on a weekend getaway and my sister is as adorable as ever. And, apparently, not going to college. Or at least not yet.
My mother and I had one of our Talks tonight. The Talks aren't like the "Birds and the Bees Talk" insomuch as they're really awesome, impromptu discussions that just sort of happen and end up leaving me feeling happy and optimistic. You can see some of the aftereffects of another such Talk here and here. But we talked about the divorce and how awesome today was (the whole family [save for my aunt] watched the 70's movie of The Great Gatsby, with Robert Redford and Mia Farrow in it. We took a shot of sparkling grape juice every time we heard "Old sport") and a lot of other things.
It was nice because I got the chance to understand some factors of my parent's relationship that I, as a biased child, hadn't understood. I know I'll always be something of a biased child when it comes to my parent's divorce, but I'm glad that I was allowed some insight into how my mother and father functioned. My family was, to our friends, the White Picket Fence family that everyone in the world hates to love. There were two smart, kind daughters and a happy marriage and a nice house and a circle of friends etc. etc. All we were missing was a dog. And so it came as an utter shock to aforementioned circle of friends when not only did we separate, but it got out that my father had been abusive to all 3 of us.
The thing about the legendary White Picket Fence family and the ~Golden Couple~ (the 80 year old high school sweethearts who've grown old together and all newlyweds aspire to be) is that they're not infinite. People tend to think they are, that once you've reached that stereotypical perfection you just kind of stop. But that's like my assumption that once you reach 20 years old, you just kind of stop growing.
(You don't.)
And the same holds true with WPFF and ~Golden Couples~! You may reach that "perfection", you may have it all, but you won't have it forever. Maybe I'm channeling too much of my inner Nick Carraway, but there is no way to freeze the flow of time once you finally achieve what you've been longing for. People evolve, they change, meet new people and get new hobbies and learn new things. They become different people altogether, and the couple who've been married for 20 years may not have actually known one another for 15 of them. One of the reasons why Romeo & Juliet is the most cited love story of all time is because they didn't have enough time to evolve, and so the relationship never ran it's course.
Which is all a roundabout way of saying that my parents were once, in fact, the ~Golden Couple~. They had 2 darling daughters and a roof over their heads and were in love with one another. My family was once the White Picket Fence archetype. But we grew and changed, some for better and some for worse. My mother grew stronger, my father grew worse, my sister grew - actually, I'm not sure what my sister grew into, but she definitely grew - and I grew. . ?
More cynical, perhaps. More prone to psychoanalysis? I grew into an asshole? A misandrist? A mess of self confidence vying with major daddy issues?
God know's what my sister and I have grown into. I guess only time will tell.
But the takeaway message that came from tonight's Talk was something I've never really thought of before, despite all my teenage rants on love and it's futility. Love itself isn't a hopeless notion, despite what I've claimed in the past. Love isn't even a fully imperfect notion. You can be one half of a ~Golden Couple~, can ride off into that happily ever after.
You just have to be wise enough to realize when the ride has stopped.
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