I'll be frank ladies and gentleman, when I say that when it comes to snappy retorts, I'm not exactly your go-to-girl. Sure, I can come up with some mildly insulting, counter line but I only make up said line around an hour later, when I'm mentally reviewing the situation.
(I also owe the reader a bit more of an explanation then my last post. I'm too lazy to do some "About Me" thing, so most likely I'll make a page for that later.)
But growing up, I lived a very sheltered academic life. I never had to deal with bullies, so having to put up with egotistical creatures living solely on a need to impress others and huge amounts of testosterone now, with about 0 knowledge of how to fend them off, isn't exactly a great way to spend your days.
Not to say that all boys are like that, but the fictional "Prince Charming" character is seeming less and less likely, more so with every day. All 12 year olds act like 15 year olds, and 15 year olds act like 18 year olds. To be honest (again) its getting old.
With my vocabulary being what it is, I've got the insulting quip part down. The only problem is that I don't posses that ability some people have, the ability to just whip up some remark about 5 seconds after the general insult has been said.
An example of my non-existent ability is this: One day I was walking on the pool deck, heading towards swim team practice. The team practices in the competition pool, which also has a diving board. So a majority of annoying teenagers like to spend almost all of the summer there. The pool always gets closed for swim team practice, and 2 teenage boys were walking out the gate as I was passing. It should be known that I wasn't really noticing them, until one of them asked "Where are you looking, little girl?" I can't imagine how they got the impression that I was "checking them out", as I was wearing sunglasses, but all I could do was glare at them and walk away; My natural self defense mechanism. Only after swim team practice did I decide that I should have replied "Oh nothing, just noticing your extreme lack of ability to grow a pair." Usually I try to refrain from such crude comments, but apparently "everyone else is doing it". Its hard to rebel against the fads if the fads are your only way of survival.
And yes, I'm aware that sentence makes absoloutly no sense, whatsoever.
I'm also aware that no person on earth could care about the situation I described above, but not many people are supposed to even read this. And judging by my other blogs popularity, the most this blog will get is a passing glance, before the reader hits the "Next Blog" button at the top of this page. Which dosn't really bother me that much; I'm writing this blog for me, not other people's amusement.
But if someone does end up reading this, they may see how going to a YMCA Teen Leader's Lock-In in 2 days, which will be crawling with teenage hormones, may not be the best thing for someone like me.
But in actuality, the Lock-In is a little more important then must me being nervous about my lack of ability to stand up for myself. Actually, all the people coming are either Teen Leaders or Leaders Club recruits. (A.K.A myself) And Leaders are generally what they're called: leaders, or role models. They're usually polite and respectful to adults and don't care for insulting people. So when it comes to not having a smart remark on the tip of my tongue, thats not really the problem.
No, the real problem here is my sister.
You see my sister is, well.... Perfect.
Let me explain; The Lock-In I'm going to is actually at a YMCA that I don't go to very often. My sister is a member of the Leaders Club at the YMCA I'm going to this weekend, and every single person there has at the very least seen her and knows her name. Those people are the 5% club. Another larger percent have met her and know her and the majority of the people know her, see her regularly and simply adore her.
Did I neglect to mention that she's the Volunteer of the Year at the YMCA that I go to more often?
I know any phycologist would give the classic "Your feeling depressed because your constantly in your sister's shadow, and your anxious to prove yourself..." diagnosis and blah, blah, blah. (I know about this stuff, my dad is a phycologist.)
And I suppose that some of that's true. Sometimes I feel I should get help, I tend to feel suicidal sometimes. But its never that strong (obviously, as I'm writing this post) and I'm not that depressed. I still laugh at funny jokes and go to swim team. If you knew me though, you probably wouldn't guess I was depressed. Of the many things of been in my life, one of them is actress and I would like to think I'm a pretty good one.
But part of the problem is that I am sister's opposite. While she's cheery, optimistic, ditzy, quite the social butterfly a good runner and... flirtatious to say the least, I am somewhat pessimistic, an excellent swimmer, a bookworm, highly cynical, currently posses 0 friends and have no interest in immature boys with 500 pounds of hormones running through their veins. My theory is that the most you can get out of a fling at my age is candy, a couple of birthday presents, a broken heart and life lessons. All of which can also be gained when I'm older, and there is a possibility that the relationship could be something more.
Which, no doubt, is going to make me seem like a lonely, date-less girl who made up the logic to feel better about her lack of a boyfriend. I assure you, that is not the case. So far I think I've expressed my dislike for boys pretty strongly, but that dosn't mean I don't believe in love. I'm sure there's some nice guy my age out there, but where ever he is, he's not going to get to me any time soon. So it only makes sense to wait, really.
But back to my sister: I really am her opposite. During the trip I just came back with we were actually pretty close, and bonded a lot more then we usually do. But now that were back, that "connection" is lost. Oh Joy.
The dilemma here is that if I really want to get "better", I need friends. So to get friends and do other supposedly "fun" activities, I decided to join a Leaders Club. But the entire melodrama surrounding that is another (albeit related) story, to be told another post.
The decision to join a leaders club ultimately lead me to the Lock-In this Friday, and like deciding what to wear, I need to decide how I will act. There's no doubt in my mind that the worst I suffer from are sudden mood swings, no doubt the result of my new influx of teenage hormones. But I have dubbed my "condition" Self-Induced Multiple Personality Disorder. I have around 9 different, named personalities. So I need to pick which girl I go as to the Lock-In. Currently its a 3-way tie between Mini-Peppy, Moxie and Liz.
'Told ya I named them.
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