The Caged Bird who Swallows the Key

Well what do you know?

I'm back.

Only after... well, 7-ish months. Okay okay, I know that I fail at maintaining blogs. Or any habits, really. If I don't do it everyday, I don't do it at all.

However, somehow, My mother has decided to try and support my attempts at becoming a writer, and wants me to write a blog. I decided to just start updating this one.

It's been a while, clearly, and I've changed some, but stayed the same in some instances. I'm still "alone". All of my friends are through DeviantArt or Tinier Me. I still go to Leader's Club (I'm secretary now) and I went to Blue Ridge Leadership School this summer.

Currently, I'm neutral. I'm alive, but not living. I'm not really enjoying life to it's fullest, or whatever so many people try to do. I wake up (very reluctantly, I might add) do school. Eat lunch. Draw some, listen to music, read.

I want to "live in the moment". I do! I want to fall asleep every night with a smile on my face. But these nights, I either don't sleep at all, or I slip into Morpheus' embrace with tears gently pooled in my eyes.

Seems I haven't lost my overly poetic style of writing.

Despite all that, I have what I suppose you could call high hopes. I want to go to St. John's College in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I want to move to Seattle, and become a writer. I want to find a dreamscape of my own, like the places described in Sky Sailing songs. Maybe then, I won't mind being alone? Maybe then, things will be better?

I want these things to happen, but I'm not necessarily looking forward to them. My life, plotted out before me, and I don't feel excited.

Despite all the angst, insecurity and tears, I wish I could stay a teenager forever.

But that idiot, Peter Pan must've lost my address.