One Summer's Day

It's 3:45 on a Wednesday afternoon, and I am feeling bittersweet.


Today is one of those sunny, perfectly cool days that only come about 3 times a year in Florida, sprinkled sparingly throughout the blistering sunshine and freezing rains that are so iconic to this state. If Florida was always like this, I'd never want to leave.
But it isn't like this, so I don't.

In an odd way, I'm feeling a sort of nostalgia. Maybe it's the song. Just- I know our time at this place, in this little apartment of ours, is coming to an end. And while it might not come for a few months, it's still growing close. And I've always sort of known, in the depths of my mind, that we'd leave. Eventually. I knew that I didn't want to live the rest of my teenaged life out in this ridiculously small condo.

But technically, it's not the house I'll be missing. It's this time.

The time of 2012; a year full of tattoos, friends and snails. Full of dogs and golf balls and my sister's numerous boyfriends. Lazy weekday mornings spent dozing with the dog on my pillow, afternoons full of peanut butter sandwiches and mac & cheese and Life cereal. Long nights stretching into early dawn hours, my eyes reflecting the glow of a screen. Pastries at Panera and hot chocolates from Starbucks. A whole year of my life, recorded through blogs and orange notebooks and the skin of my palms.

It's been. . . wow.

I feel like it was only a few months ago that I was going to a Halloween dance. But now I'm in charge of decorating that dance, and I've had haircuts and bought new shirts and my mother has a new tattoo and my sister has a leg injury. The year has flown by, and it's only by focusing - by remembering, really and truly - that I realize how big this year has been.

Which is odd. And wonderful. And wow-worthy.

And it makes me wonder what 2013 will be like. Will it, in fact, be the lucky 13? Or will all of our worst fears come true? What will Tennessee be like? What will my sister be like, leaving for college? Will my mother get another dog? Will I get a tattoo?
What will it be like?
But considering how twisted and hopeful and terrifying a start 2012 had, I think things might just turn out okay.

So even though I'm anxious about leaving this place; this wonderful little den that we've carved out in between the major events of life, a place to stop and rest and rejuvenate. Even though the world is big and scary and remarkable, full of what-ifs and maybes- despite all of that, I'm venturing back out there. I've been pulled over to the side of the road for 7 months, and it's time to get back into the car.

And I don't really mind.


So will 2013 be as wow-worthy as 2012?

I think it will.

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