Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Authorial Addiction

I, um.

Wow. 

Tonight is unprecedented. Which I've said before but um,

Wow.


I have literally screamed "what" about 31 times over the course of the night, with varying levels of emphasis, length and volume. Why? Because two of my submissions to a local writing contest won Honorable Mentions.

And I read both of them aloud.

To a full room.

And people applauded.

Dear God, I think this is what drugs are like.

It was over 3 hours ago, but I'm still left reeling. People applauded, actually clapped, and later some strangers complimented me on my work and this is an incredibly heady and dizzying sensation that I desperately hope I get to feel again.

And I know it's silly and childish - it's not as if I won 1st place or anything - but out of over 100 entries,  two of mine won honorable mentions. I was one of the few people who was actually able to read their work aloud- most of the other winners/honorable mentions didn't attend. And the title was called and I sort of giddily hopped and jumped over other the people sitting cross-legged to the side of the podium. And by the time I was through the opening paragraph, I realized that I could literally feel my heart in my chest, and I was shaking.

Again, cliched and over-dramatized, I know. And I'm sorry. But it was incredible and weird and terrifying and I giggled nervously a few times during pauses and such. And just, God, what I wouldn't give to be able to do this for a living. To maybe, one day, write books. And read aloud to rooms full of people who will actually listen. To get the shaky, nerve-wrecking adrenaline rush of my name being called and reading things that I've written.

It was just plain awesome, if you'll pardon my bluntness, and I am exhilarated and addicted and smiling and just

wow

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you finally realize you have a rare and special gift. Your readers have known this for a couple of years now. A unique way with words and keen powers of observation. Congratulations! I look forward to reading your novels. Keep writing!

Claire Bagley Hayes said...

CONGRATULATIONS! I hope this is the start of many many readings.

Auntie Elle said...

SO proud of you! And I will never look at a plush Bald Eagle without thinking about Adam . . . I wonder if reading aloud helps with the process of writing??? You do both so well. Love you & Congrats!